82649

Joke of the Day

"So when you play a wind instrument.... Do you suck, or blow? My Dad made that one up, so I can't take the credit :P"

"I'm the cat whisperer. because I whisper, ""I could kill you with my bare hands"" to them daily."

"My 20y/o brother went to Elementary school.. To learn firebending"

"I clicked on the ""Random"" link in the navigation bar and it brought me to the Toronto Maple Leafs subreddit Guess I mistakenly clicked on the ""Funny"" link in the navigation bar instead."

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

"On his first day, my gay friend lost his job at the sperm bank. He was caught drinking on the job."

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis"

"Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons? Half of them are lyin'."

"Does everyone have a weird Facebook acquaintance that comments on all their shit, or is it just me?"

"A dog limps into a bar. Says, ""I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw""."