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Joke of the Day

"So when you play a wind instrument.... Do you suck, or blow? My Dad made that one up, so I can't take the credit :P"

"*pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*"

"I was fired from my job in the pasta factory. I made a fusilli errors."

"I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can't any more. My phone battery just doesn't have the stamina any more."

"A Poem Roses are red, Violets are blue, Stop memes about Harambe -Cincinnati Zoo"

"What do you call a psychic dwarf that escapes from a prison? A small medium at large."

"Amy Schumer has died in a gravy flood she got her ears pierced."

"What did Russell Crowe say when he found out that his ex-wife was eaten by a cannibal? I'm gladiator."

"My niece just asked for ""cow juice."" So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood."

"*stands on a curb next to a stranger* What if i was this tall"