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Joke of the Day
"I thought I had a fantastic cheese joke... But it wasn't very Gouda."
Next Joke
"""she's too good for him"" ""he doesn't deserve her"" ""she should be with me"" ""I need a good girl like that"" --me looking at other people's dogs"
"I was sitting on the toilet when todays earthquake hit. The toilet shook like a rollercoaster. It scared the shit out of me."
"cashier at the book store told me to ""take it easy"" so I stabbed her in the neck with my keys because nobody tells me how to live my life."
"What is the definition of a 'double standard'? If a girl sleeps with a ton of guys she is a slut, but if a guy does it, he is a homosexual."
"all your favs are going to a special cause tonight it's called ""my low self esteem"""
"What's better Jesus or a picture of Jesus A picture because it only takes one nail to hang a picture."
"Bruce Lee's favorite drink Wataaaaa!!!"
"My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!"
"There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE"