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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of a 'double standard'? If a girl sleeps with a ton of guys she is a slut, but if a guy does it, he is a homosexual."

"So my neighbour knocked on my door at 3am.. 3 AM! Can you believe that?! He was lucky I was still playing on my drumkit.."

"I told my girlfriend to roleplay as a a Lvl 100 Charizard while we were having sex. She scratched me and told me that I didn't have enough badges to train her."

"Why couldn't the crime scene investigators find the murder weapon? They thought it was a piece of cake."

"I went to see Jurassic World because I heard there was a recently genetically modified dinosaur... I didn't see Caitlyn Jenner anywhere"

"If you see a swarm of jellyfish, DO NOT enter the ocean. It's a no-brainer."

"My girlfriend claims my puns don't make any sense. She says they're un-BEAR-able."

"What's the difference between amnesia and alzheimers? I can't remember."

"What do a call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence."

"[nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? ""Yes of course we do!"" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*"