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Joke of the Day

"There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He died."

"[first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]"

"*sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* ""No no, allow me"" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*"

"Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the day... Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"I'd like to live in Abu Dhabi. There's nothing like the bright lights, ritzy real estate, and an occasional public beheading."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter can escape the chambers"

"1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, ""It has to look like an accident."" 4. Walk away."

"What's the best cure to a bad hangover? A good personality"

"My friend Sid was a victim of ID theft. Now he is known as S."