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Joke of the Day

"Why did the stoner take his wife to court? He wanted to get joint custody."

"I have caller ID for the front door. If you don't call me first, I am NOT answering the door."

"Why couldn't Batman go to the movie? Because it was rated ""PG"""

"My hot dislexic co-worker said she had an important massage to give me in her office... When I got there, she told me it can wait until I put on some clothes."

"A redhead gets a job He is now a baker, probably a gingerbread man."

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? There's no rest for the wicked."

"I enjoy reading, long walks on the beach, and getting myself into situations where the only way out is to fake my own death."

"So a cannibal walks into a hospital delivery room And the doctor says, ""can I help you??"" The cannibal says, ""I'll have what she's having."""

"Another casualty of 2016... Ronda Rousey's MMA career"

"You gotta randomly lift your girl in the air, just to let her know you could throw her off a balcony if her phone ever went off after 11 PM."