191304
Joke of the Day
"How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon? They'll tell you"
Next Joke
"*puts on headphones *cranks ""Eye of the Tiger"" *downs energy drink *laces up Nikes *runs out into 13 weather *runs back inside *Naps"
"[Robbery] Sloth Man: I'll use my powers to make the criminals fall asleep. *Runs to bank* *Reaches bank 18 hrs later* SM: How'd they escape?"
"I wish it were okay for a guy to carry a purse because there is only so much banana bread that I can fit in my wallet."
"What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little."
"Girl: My doctor says I can't have sex for two weeks...:-( Boy: What did your dentist say?"
"whats the Mexican version of whack a mole? gua-ca-mole"
"I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects."
"I met a girl in a bar last night and she said she wanted the night to be magical.... So I fucked her and disappeared."
"Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand? San Diego (thought of this myself, it's better spoken)"