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Joke of the Day

"Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach? He was too concerned with the tan gent."

"You gotta wet it first, doesn't work dry. The wetter the better. -whistling you perverts"

"What did the hail storm say to the roof? -Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles"

"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."

"I've fallen in love with a fellow ventriloquist's doll. But she's already spoken for."

"What is a crossbreed between an elephant and a rhinoceros called? I don't know, but it isn't *relevant*!"

"I'm sure I didn't invent this joke, but i thought of it myself. What do you call a dog/ octopus hybrid? A Dog-opus! What about a cat/ octopus hybrid? an Octo-puss... buddum tiss*"

"There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ... The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence."

"What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black? A glimmer of hope"

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ? He was the skipper !"