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Joke of the Day

"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."

"This bloke at uni today told me he had 90 degrees... I said 90 degrees how is that even possible? He said you just need to look at uni from the right angle"

"Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park"

"I just googled ""jokes to tell right before you die"" and if that doesn't tell you what kind of person I am, I don't know what does."

"Doctor doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks."

"Why did the chicken say, ""In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...""? Because the chicken crossed the road."

"I had to do my nightly chores twice today Thanks daylight savings!"

"My uncle's wife... My uncle's wife used to stay awake at night planning how to take the law into her own hands. She was my vigilauntie."

"The best ""Ben Dover"" type of names you know thread. I just used one of these types of names as a joke earlier and realized I don't know that many of them. I bet reddit knows a lot of them!"

"How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon? Intersect it with a plane."