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Joke of the Day

"I work hard so my dog can have a better life."

"Be alert! ... the world needs more lerts."

"Son and Dad Joke Son: Dad, when i look down i have 4 balls. How is that possible ? Dad: I'm fucking your ass, son."

"""Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma"" ""Shut up, and keep digging"""

"The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe."

"Whenever I see someone with a non-reusable water bottle I get a gun and shoot a nearby animal and say ""you did that"""

"A guy is talking to his friend about his new girlfriend ""I did her up the arse on the first date"" the guy reveals proudly. ""no shit?"" His friend replies. ""nah, she had an enema beforehand"""

"If a firefighter's business can go up in smoke, and a plumber's business can go down the drain... ...can a hooker get laid off?"

"Got so drunk last night I woke up on a sidewalk this morning and rolled under a parked car so I could continue sleeping in the shade."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the titanic? About half way."