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Joke of the Day

"TAKEN 4 COMING SOON ! Ring , Ring . Kim this is your father. Daddy ? she replies. But, but your dead ! Listen I'm a Ghost , and my Corpse is about to be, TAKEN !lol."

"So I just found out those stick figures on the back of cars are not to keep track of how many pedestrians you've hit,i will be removing mine"

"What is the name of Apple's revolutionary new product that allows elite pirates to see from their eyepatches. The iEyeCaptain"

"A gun and a bullet get into a heated argument Police still don't know who fired the first shot"

"I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?"

"What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink."

"For our first date, we'll dump a Crayola 64 box onto the floor, and put them back from worst to favorite."

"I'll never get picked for jury duty because I'd be the one on trial....."

"What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails."

"He died doing what he loved, waving a metal rod on a rooftop in a storm, yelling FU, GOD! Although he slipped & fell, Ted's memory lives on."