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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink."
Next Joke
"What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party? (x-post from /r/tax) A present liability!"
"What was the Seagull's favorite online streaming service? Netfocks"
"""Do you know what the hardest part of the night is?"" asked the taxi driver. ""Is it his shield?"" I asked."
"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors it's just something I could really see myself doing."
"I think people are getting sick of my jokes when they exhale deeply I should take it as a sigh-n"
"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like Fidel Castro ... ... not screaming in terror, like his victims."
"*takes your compliment* *stares nervously at it*"
"Two guys walk into a bar.. You'd think that second one would have ducked."
"I brought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday You should have seen her face light up when she opened it."