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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails."

"What do you call a chicken at the north pole? Lost."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today... I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What do you call an angry wind? A cross breeze."

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in tendifferent puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,no pun in ten did."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Celery ! Celery who ? Celery me you lunch will you I'm hungry !"

"How dare room service question ""how many people"" I need 8 mimosas for "

"Knock knock! Who's there Jehovah Witnesses Jehovah Wit... *covers their mouth* SSSHHHhhh There right outside"

"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."

"Q: Why did the blonde make love in the microwave? A: She wanted to have a baby in 9 minutes."