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Joke of the Day

"what i don't understand is that a pope can choose his own name but there's never been a Pope Batman"

"What's the key to a Pirate Opera? The High Cs"

"What do you call a spoiled cow? Chunky"

"What does a man eat when he cannot run off with his girlfriend? Cantaloupe"

"My penis is referred to by the female market as... The sperm whale"

"Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime; teach a man to catfish and he can trick some perv in Omaha into sending him rent money."

"How can you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber Ask them to pronounce 'Unionized'"

"I just found out that ""Birdman"" has nothing to do with Hawkeye, and now I want to see it."

"I'm sick of hearing about this World Class chef at Taco Bell. Chefs don't work at Taco Bell. Your weed dealer works at Taco Bell."

"There's an apartment building in my neighborhood that's full of guys who think they're Jesus It's a Messiah Complex"