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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama's house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind."

"The mall Im a New Yorker, and I hate malls. I like to compare them to hell. The average mall has seven levels, the people their want you to go to the mall, and everyone there is republican"

"[suspecting Kyle is a werewolf] ME: Ive laid out all the good silverware for us tonight K: Its chips & salsa M: Aaand? *stabs chip w/ fork*"

"I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral."

"Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground? Because he reached terminal velocity."

"Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the Like' button is below)"

"How to lose an argument with an idiot - 1 Argue."

"How many times do I have to tell you this Mom? I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage."

"Bill Gates Asked Arnold Schwarzenegger if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10, he replied: I still love vista, baby."

"My rare penny collection isn't very wise... It completely lacks common cents."