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Joke of the Day

"To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

"I'm really against picketing. I just don't know how to show it."

"I went in to a pet shop. I said, ""Can I buy a goldfish?"" The guy said, ""Do you want an aquarium?"" I said, ""I don't care what star sign it is."""

"Teacher: What's the longest word in the English language ? Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters"

"[couples therapy] Mrs: he's too handsy, always touching me all over... Mr: [who is an octopus] I CANT HELP IT LINDA IM LIKE 90% HANDS..."

"Baby joke http://suryakanthi.info/baby-jokes/"

"DOCTOR: I have bad news MAN WHO WOKE UP FROM 5 YR COMA: I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla from the Cincinnati zoo"

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"

"LF : Clean-ish jokes Need new jokes that aren't dark so I don't scare away the girl I like. Engineering and soccer ones are pluses. Thanks for the help."

"My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day... Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, ""60 Watts - Made in China."""