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Joke of the Day
"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"
Next Joke
"Football gave me a traumatic brain injury and I was only watching."
"Our middle child says we neglect him/her."
"What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy? The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!"
"Why don't ants get sick? Because of their tiny little anty bodies"
"Jackasses and Onions What do you get when you cross a Donkey and an Onion??? You get a great piece of ASS that brings a tear to your eyes!!!!"
"Poor kids at sandy hook... They wished for books but they just got magazines."
"If I want to check instructions and it's in Spanish, .. .. am I checking a Manuel?"
"You know whats sad? A depressed onion cutting itself."
"Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*"