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Joke of the Day

"Customer Service Person: is there anything else I can help you with today? Me: Is this a date? It feels like a date now."

"What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear? Claude"

"Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't? Aardvarks don't have trunks!"

"What did the suicide bombing instructor say to his students? ""Pay attention. I'm only going to show this to you once."""

"[during ultrasound] wife: I really thought you were the father me: how could you do this to me? wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all"

"A squirrel charged with murder, the detective ""did you do it?"", the squirrel ... ""no it was Nut me"""

"What does a dominatrix say when she's late? ""Sorry I tied you up"""

"People who use a vacation day the day after Christmas to have relatives over clearly don't understand the meaning of the word vacation."

"A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar. *[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*"

"Donald J Trump... The sad thing is, if he wins the jokes on us."