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Joke of the Day

"What did the suicide bombing instructor say to his students? ""Pay attention. I'm only going to show this to you once."""

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG!!!!"

"What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs? You take him for a drag."

"I celebrated 4/20 on January 5th. I know how to reduce fractions."

"Hey guys wanna watch a girl feel herself up? Hide her cell phone."

"We are the Midwest We are snowd en."

"Do you realize that if real women had the same proportions as Barbie they'd be only 11.5 inches tall?"

"[Playing spin the bottle] ""Ok so Fred has to kiss..."" [Bottle spins out of control, goes back in time & lands at the last supper] ""...Jesus"""

"*holds pen ready* ""How many zeros in one million?"" ""Six"" ""Ok, thanks"" *writes milli000000n*"

"Oh, so when a survivor takes an arrow to the head, it's a ""tragedy."" But when a zombie get hit, it's a ""good kill."" Hypocrites."