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Joke of the Day

"A squirrel charged with murder, the detective ""did you do it?"", the squirrel ... ""no it was Nut me"""

"Brain problem On the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left."

"What do fat people call the runs? The walks"

"What does a cannibal get when he comes home late to dinner? The cold shoulder."

"Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar. They both had a great time."

"Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me."

"You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you."

"Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)"

"Real person: Do you have Twitter? I'll follow you! Me: Nope, sorry. Don't have a phone or a computer. Or a microwave. Hard times and all.."