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Joke of the Day

"The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the"

"Two monkeys in a bath , the 1st monkey says ""oooooohh ooooohh aaahhhh aaahhhh "" and the second monkey says "" well put more cold in"" ."

"My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner. He's black."

"What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about? Calculus"

"My tombstone will just say ""Deactivated."" I want people to be afraid that I could come back."

"I'm on a new diet where all I eat is soup on weekdays. It's called: Miso Hungry."

"What do you call a short, round-bellied Salarian? Mordin Volus"

"What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself? Vanmailen."

"What do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO CHEESE!"

"Why don't they have sex ed and drivers ed on the same day in the middle east? There are never enough camels to go around."