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Joke of the Day

"When can you tell your waitress is having a bad day? When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil."

"Co-worker: What's the difference between astronomy & astrology? Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points."

"""We had to let him go. He was only pulling 15 times his weight."" - Corporate ants."

"If JFK could see the state of this country... It would blow his mind."

"Be serious with unknown girls. Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified."

"Bad porn is like bad spaghetti It's overdone, the noodles are soft, and it's *waaaaaaay* to saucy for my tastes."

"Did you hear of the old man that died while masturbating? He had a stroke."

"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."

"I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson... but now I'm an ex-tractor fan."