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Joke of the Day

"Be serious with unknown girls. Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea. Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter."

"Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel."

"How to explain to your parents that you are a prostitute Hey mom, remember when I said I was tight for money? Now I'm loose for money."

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need. Edit: missed a word"

"Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store."

"IDGAF if you're black, white, yellow, brown or blue. Well, I do if you're blue, I'll stop and give you CPR if you're blue."

"What do you call a vegetable that's only kinda cool? Radish"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino."

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception"