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Joke of the Day

"The masochist and a sadist. What did the masochist say to the sadist? *Hit me.* What did the sadist say to the masochist? *No.*"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass..."

"Did you hear about the little boy who was named after his father ? They called him Dad !"

"Ways to tell a woman's mad at you: 1. She's silent. 2. She's yelling. 3. She acts the same. 4. She acts different. 5. She murdered you."

"My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words 'active' or 'sport' in it's name."

"why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is a child molester"

"[boardroom] ""Now hear me out. They're Teenage.."" Ok ""Mutant.."" I like where this is going ""Ninja.."" Noun me, Graham! ""Turtles"" You're fired"

"Cops in the U.S. are like vampires They suck, their bloodthirsty, and can't come in your home unless invited!"

"Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?"

"A debator turned politician ordered everyone with beards to go home and come back the next day. He wanted them touche-v it."