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Joke of the Day

"Cops in the U.S. are like vampires They suck, their bloodthirsty, and can't come in your home unless invited!"

"Two clowns are eating a cannibal... One turns to the other and says ""Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."""

"Damn my stomach is making really weird noises...I'm gonna go ahead and send a donut down there to check things out."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne usually waits until you're 13 before coming on your face."

"My girlfriend left me.... she said she was sick of my tree puns what a beech"

"Bono heated and cooled his vodka over and over, filtering it to try and get the perfect taste... But distill hasn't found what he's looking for."

"I tucked my kids in last night and said, ""See you in the morning!"" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise."

"What's the difference between a strip club and a circus? A circus is full of cunning stunts."

"I don't mind lesbians, actually. They're still women who won't sleep with me, but at least it's nothing personal."

"Birdie birdie in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye I didn't cry I didn't sigh I thank god cows can't fly"