98081

Joke of the Day

"why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is a child molester"

"I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is."

"Woman's Logic: Bikini No problem. Bra and underwear: OMG DON'T LOOK!!!"

"Did you hear about the Mexican Army's new weapons? Everyone was issued a nail gun."

"I like how this car asks me if it's safe to move in reverse. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS GETTING MARRIED???"

"Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents."

"I found out that for months my kid has been throwing his poop at beehives. I sat him down and said, ""Son, it's time we talked about the turds and the bees."""

"Why did the dyslexic Italian prisoner of war never get rescued? Because when his commanding officer read his letter saying he was now a WOP, it was assumed that he had expatriated."

"What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella? The umbrella can be shut up."

"The cat is heat and keeps presenting herself to the dog I'm just sitting here with my finger hovering above the record button."