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Joke of the Day

"When is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades"

"A man arrives home and was absolutely delighted when he saw that someone had stolen every single lamp from his house"

"Dad called me a cunt I always buy him socks for Xmas. I said, ""you bastard, it's the thought that counts."" I could tell by the look in his eyes he would have kicked my head in if he had legs"

"Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget."

"Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again."

"Why did the little Dutch boy get kicked out of the gay bar? He kept putting his finger in the dikes."

"Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job? Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic."

"[Request] Best One liners I just want to hear some of the best..."

"How to trigger a Canadian My favorite color is gray."

"Him: Do you want to run away with me? Me: We won't actually be running, right?"