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Joke of the Day

"A man arrives home and was absolutely delighted when he saw that someone had stolen every single lamp from his house"

"I watched craps at the casino for over an hour tonight until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom."

"If George Washington Carver became a teacher, what would his nickname be? The Nutty Professor"

"Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?"

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer."

"A magician is driving down a road... and turns into a driveway."

"First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I it must be launch time !"

"Why didn't the people in the movie Armageddon just hold up a big sheet of paper when the meteor was coming? Paper beats rock..."

"what is the hardest part of eating a veggtable. might be offensive. THE WHEEL CHAIR!"

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put ""U"" and ""I"" together."