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Joke of the Day

"Guys! I finally dusted my bedroom! And guess what? I HAVE A NIGHTSTAND!!!"

"I'm surprised the Pope didn't tweet from an Android, considering humanity and God's experience with apples."

"why did they bury liberace face down? so his friends could stop by for a cold one..."

"I once new a guy that worked at a tool and die company... ...He was hit with a tool, and died"

"There are three bears a black, a brown, and a white one. Which bear dissolves in water? The white bear, because it's polar"

"A friend asked me what's my best American impression... ""I don't want to go to the doctor because it's too expensive."""

"Did you hear about the Penn State professor who went around in a revolving door for six hours because he couldn't remember whether he was going in or coming out?"

"Me: Whatcha doin? 12yo: Catching up on Walking Dead. Me: Did Hershel die yet? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Guess not."

"Q: Did you hear the slogan for the the new ""Stealth Condom?"" A: ""They'll never see you coming."""

"Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights"