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Joke of the Day

"Q: Did you hear the slogan for the the new ""Stealth Condom?"" A: ""They'll never see you coming."""

"My friends in Germany were complaining that they couldn't find a good bagel anywhere... well whose fault is that?"

"And in the news today, Justin Bieber has yet to be shot in a drive by. . ."

"What do they call a virgin down in the south? Faster than her brother!"

"Dance like the picture's not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Tweet like no one's following."

"What do you do with an epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad"

"If you know this one than we are probably friends. * Man 1: Knock Knock. * Man 2: Who's there? * Man 1: KGB. * Man 2: KGB wh- *get's slapped* * Man 1: WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put the wrong socks on this morning..."

"How may tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Tentacles!"

"I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me."