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Joke of the Day

"My dad went to jail this morning... Because he's the jail doctor."

"Remember when dresses were slightly longer but still cute, and when I bent over my gender didn't show? I want those back."

"I've just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear."

"I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants."

"Glad they redesigned Gmail---I've been dying to compose an email farther to the right."

"Why should you avoid people dressed as celery? They could be stalking you!"

"What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? Both of them cost $100 and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed!"

"""I always try to go the extra mile for my customers"" -New York's most hated cab driver Courtesy of @lordbeef on Twitter"

"What does a Jew, in Poland with a Stomach ache have? The Auschits"

"Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs? A: Cos they've no idea of the route."