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Joke of the Day

"I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants."

"You can tell a lot about a woman from her shoes If they're behind her ears, she likes you"

"Pick up line: Girl, do you run a Gorilla exhibit at the zoo? Because I want to drop a baby in you."

"So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It's safe to say; that didn't go down very well."

"Besides OP's mom, Which character would you like to have seen more of on the Andy Griffith show?"

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He was a little quiet."

"The best thing about time machines ... ... is that you can buy it used and sell it new."

"Why do Baptists have so many children? They only use holy condoms."

"I'm designing a new model of jackhammer It could be ground-breaking technology!"

"My wife told me I needed to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe."