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Joke of the Day

"I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants."

"I like my coffee how I like my bed. Made by someone else."

"""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and being tagged in a super unflattering photo."""

"Why do Kenyans always win marathons? At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-"

"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher's problem? She worked it out with a #2 pencil."

"Sorry I panicked and told your kids that Santa is able to visit every house in one night because he does meth."

"How do lesbians celebrate special occasions? They eat out."

"Little Mary was living in Japan during the 1940s. Then one day, the Americans dropped an atomic bomb on the city she was living in. Where did she go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my Xbox."

"if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney 's"