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Joke of the Day

"Remember when dresses were slightly longer but still cute, and when I bent over my gender didn't show? I want those back."

"Why don't they just get Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail?"

"Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish."

"Why is marriage like thin toilet paper? Because you end up with a ring on your finger."

"When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell ""Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!"" Respect my privacy."

"Why didn't the bird cross the road? It chickened out."

"My son claims he ""loves me,"" but the contents with which he fills diapers he KNOWS I'LL BE CHANGING suggests otherwise."

"Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged"

"What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!"