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Joke of the Day

"So I was talking to this dolphin the other day. It was so gnar"

"What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship? Let's get on the ship, men!"

"Behind closed doors, Rachael Ray prefers the sluttier olive oils."

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says ""How do you drive this thing? """

"What do you call it when two well endowed astrophysicists have a gay sword fight? A Large Hardon Collider."

"Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because it was dead."

"How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"MATH TEACHER: wanna come do the problem on the board? ME: no MT: i wasn't asking ME: if u were an english teacher you'd know that u were"

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece ofcelery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."

"What's the reason my shower isn't working? You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure."