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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece ofcelery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."

"What do a dead vibrator and a moving bus have in common? You can't get off."

"Damn girl, are you sandpaper? Because I want you to rub my wood."

"I left my chamomile tea steeping for too long and it turned into the new Coldplay album."

"Man walks into library & asks if they have any books on bukkake. The librarian replies, ""A lot of people come for that."""

"What did the potato ask the cow? Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes."

"Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don't know what I'm gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It's a mystery"

"How tall do you have to be to ride a Kanye West rollercoaster? About Ye big."

"Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven? They were too GUI."

"What do you call a naughty football joke? An offensive line"