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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster? a failure!"
Next Joke
"I really miss Jake. And Clyde. And Marissa. Gina too. I should stop naming my cupcakes right before I eat them. :("
"I have Alzheimer's disease. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease!"
"What's White & Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky? The coming of the Lord."
"invemtor of fruit-by-the-foot: [stares blankley at a roll of toilet paper for hours] WAIT I'VE GOT IT"
"I was going to invest in the Microsoft HoloLens but... ...Their projections weren't very good."
"My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit... He said ""Like a cheap castle."" Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, ""No ball room."""
"I wish I had firearms. Or maybe one firearm and one regular arm."
"What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie? A bad judge of character."
"Anal with my girlfriend made my day. But it made her hole weak."