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Joke of the Day

"invemtor of fruit-by-the-foot: [stares blankley at a roll of toilet paper for hours] WAIT I'VE GOT IT"

"'When I go to the bathroom at work and someone follows me in' Doctor: I meant is there anything worrying you, physically"

"Apparently the g-spot is located in a $1700 pair of Christian Louboutins."

"[throws wine bottle into vineyard] ""Go, be with your family."""

"Yo mama so stupid she went to Shop Rite And shopped wrong"

"What do call a horse that lives near you? A naybor"

"Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot."

"What are 8 Nougat-Bits? One Nougat-Byte"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? You would too if your name was MMMHHHUUHH"

"mall santas make me mad becuase its like as if we need another reason to give jobs to old white men"