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Joke of the Day

"I have Alzheimer's disease. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease!"

"Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York? They wouldn't let him bring his carrion. Sorry."

"I'm starting to hate the U.S. government The NSA appears to be the only department which listens"

"Who would you ask for advice about a lion? a lion or a gerbil? The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions."

"What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ? [Lame Joke] Haploid"

"Hagrid is so fat The Sorting Hat put him in the Waffle House"

"REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*"

"Once she realized I was chatting her up, the Kohl's girl immediately indicated the extent of her interest: ""My dad wears shirts like that"""

"TIL Ron Jeremy is a porn star I always thought he was just an actor but as soon as he came on the screen it was clear"

"So i was fucking this midget with one arm (nsfw) Boy, is my arm tired."