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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if a bird shits on your windscreen? Don't ask her out again."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite nation? Discrimination."

"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? ...To get to the same side"

"If you need help staying awake, subtract sheep in your head."

"What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to smoke. Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted."

"Two wolves are chasing a Golden Retriever through the forest. After an hour, the first wolf says to the second wolf, ""Ain't this a bitch?"" To which the second wolf responds, ""It had better be""."

"The first thing I do when someone introduces themselves to me is forget what their name is."

"*brain waking up* oh god please not again I can't keep existing in this reality *brain 20 minutes later* 1000000 chameleons is a chamillion"

"So there's this cute girl from work and I'm too shy to talk to her But then I realized, all I needed to do to talk to her was to remove the duct tape"

"26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."