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Joke of the Day

"Brad Pitt might be ""better looking"" than me, but I am considerably fatter."

"Pickup lines in /r/jokes? Stahp."

"What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot? Baked ham."

"Whats the difference between a piece of paper and an emo. The paper cuts you not itself."

"My wife gets annoyed with my long showers. I told her they could be 10-15 minutes shorter if she joined me."

"I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style."

"I got pulled over by a female cop.. When i asked what's wrong, she said ""NOTHING!!"""

"How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears."

"[grocery store] Me (chewing): why are these grapes expensive Cashier: We know ppl eat them before they pay Me (still chewing): well I never"

"I was trying to convince my friend to go fishing the other day. It took a while to convince her, but then she finally agreed and had fun fishing. She eventually fell for it hook, line, and sinker."