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Joke of the Day

"dude told me he did a line with Emma Watson but I know he was lying - she's British, they call them ""queues"""

"My doctor told me I need to stop masturbating I asked why, he said something about examining me. Lets see what you got Reddit. Keep the title and change the punchline."

"Your father is so absent... When I Google searched him it returned: Error 404 Not found."

"I am having an out of money experience."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? Ash credits to /u/nothingbutcold"

"Whenever I drink whiskey, I turn into Kermit the Frog. I start talking funny, I turn green, and then I end up fucking a fat pig"

"What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs? ""Well, glad I got that over with."""

"Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son? She named him Oedipus."

"When you have to poop so bad it comes out just as you reach the toilet... That's the shit I don't like."

"What kind of type face does a pachyderm use? ele-font"