132611

Joke of the Day

"Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story... It's a 3-Day relationship between a 13 year-old and a 17 year-old that caused 6 Deaths. Sincerely, everyone who actually Read it."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because the air is free :)"

"""20 McNuggets for $5? That's like a quarter a nugget!"" I exclaimed, hoping that my dinner date would be impressed with my math skills."

"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."

"What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? Long John silvers"

"How can you tell if someone with parkinsons has hypothermia? You can't. That's what makes it so funny."

"Hey, man. You used no capital letters and only one exclamation point to wish me happy birthday on Facebook. Is everything okay at home?"

"*slips into milk bath* *starts drinking*"

"I guess it's not socially acceptable to put my hand in the shape of a gun into my mouth in the middle of a conversation."

"I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face"