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Joke of the Day

"Read on r/todayilearned that Saint Ambrose was the first person to practice silent reading... ...which is crazy, because typically, Catholics never shut up about their favorite book."

Next Joke
 
"79% of people don't know the opposites of these 6 words. 1. Always 2. Coming 3. From 4. Take 5. Me 6. Down Are YOU the 21%?"
"Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their wealth, Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself."
"How is an American teen girl different from an Arab teen girl. An American teen girl gets stoned *before* she has sex."
"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as stable."
"Play-Doh is a wonderful way to teach your children that colorful things will lie to you about their taste."
"I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail."
"That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ""single"" and your ex likes it."
"WAITER:What would you like? ME:What would YOU like? W:Excuse me? M:No one ever asks you, do they? W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you."
"""hey dad, when did they outlaw hyperboles?"" ""hmm i dont know son, like a bajillion million years ago? idiot"" *cops bust down door*"