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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the ocean? To get out-of-range of North Korea's nukes."

"I always wear black. That way I'm ready, at any given moment, for an impromptu night out or your funeral, whatever."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram."

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. Ninety-eight of them said, ""Screamed get out.. get out of my bathroom?"""

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferarri."

"Whoever invented the forklift over estimated the weight of forks"

"What do you call a Snake game that doesn't work? An E-Reptile dysfunction"

"""Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?"" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. ""I don't work here"" I yelled back."

"Me: Rest assured I will go to the grave with your secret. Pat: Thank you. Me: Unfortunately so will my golfing buddies."

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's That's because she changes it more often."