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Joke of the Day

"[opening can of Russian Pringles] once u pop u [inside can is a slightly smaller can] huh [inside that can is an even smaller can] wtf [in.."

"How do all racist jokes start? *looks around everywhere*"

"My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia"

"INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING."

"A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work."

"*wears an ""Only God Can Judge Me"" t-shirt to court*"

"I wanted to make a joke about a bridge but I thought I might need to build the suspense first"

"What did the cork say to the bottle? If you don't behave yourself, I'll plug you."

"What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange? A pip squeak."

"*wakes up in a cold sweat* Ohhhh OVERALLS because you wear them over all your other clothes"