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Joke of the Day

"Why did the NSA spy on Germany ? Because after meeting with Merkel, they heard Obama say ""I'd tap that""."

"How did Helen Keller break her arm? She tried to read the speed limit sign."

"What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? Just be *honest* with it man..."

"Don't use up the last of the milk! Leave just enough in there to piss somebody off."

"What room is a ghost scared of? The living room( haha get it?)"

"Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff."

"I've been reading a book on euthanasia... It's so good I can't put it down."

"44 of my Facebook friends changed their profile pictures. My life is fucking insane."

"Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious."

"Is it racist that I think all of Tyler Perry's movies look alike?"