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Joke of the Day

"A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work."

"Why is 88 better than 69? Because you get ate twice."

"The next Fast and the Furious should just be two hours of a guy doing steroids inside of a Nissan Cube."

"Wife's been away since thursday, we ran out of spaghetti-o's on friday, ate the dog yesterday, burned photo albums for heat today, pls help"

"Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It's like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad"

"She's so ugly, she made a freight train take a dirt road!"

"A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry."

"Donald Trump is like the number pi... There is no end to his irrationality."

"What do you say to a chav that has got a job? Bigmac and fries please"

"A guy walks into a bar and orders an Ovechkin... (Hockey joke) The bartender looks confused and asks ""What the hell is an Ovechkin?"" The guy says ""It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"""