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Joke of the Day
"Falling in love makes you do stupid things. Once I even got married."
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"They're creepy and they're kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky The Twitter Family *click click*"
"Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad."
"A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean...... Both crews were marooned"
"What do you call someone who designs playgrounds? A Park-itect"
"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call her and tell her all about it."
"If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called? OV O's!"
"*pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?"
"I went swimming in the Black Sea. It stole my trunks."
"If you think I'm flirting with you, I'm just being friendly. If you think I'm weird and I make you uncomfortable, I'm flirting with you."