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Joke of the Day

"*Hands girl a card that says Be Mine* Girl: Aw that's so sweet *Pulls out a pickaxe* Me: Come on, do it I need some iron ASAP lady!"

"I never misused the word ironic, ironic right? it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!"

"Well well well... looks like someone put on some weight again. ~ my pants right now"

"What do you get when you get in a fight with the Los Angeles Lakers lead point scorer? Kobe beef"

"Q: Why did the invisible man look in the mirror? A: To make sure he still wasn't there."

"Why won't bankers go to the opera? Because they quickly lose interest"

"When I'm feeling bold in the kitchen, sometimes I'll change up a recipe by forgetting to put in a key ingredient"

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist bastard."

"Mosses did not parted the Red Sea. Chuck Norris did. The Bible got confused because Mosses and Chuck Norris sound so much alike."

"Whenever a woman says ""how are you different from other men?"" I normally respond with ""I'm fucking hilarious."" @MaleHonesty86"