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Joke of the Day

"The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend's parent's house and the toilet water was rising... -My best pickup line"

"Donald Trump seeks total and complete ban on algebra because he thinks that it may be related to alqaeda"

"Why did the lion always lose at poker? He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs!"

"What do you call people who teach their kids to use abstinence as birth control? Grandparents."

"Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV? Jar Jar Binks"

"Hannibal Lecter has opened a Turkish resutrant. They only serve Organ Doners"

"Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it."

"Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself."

"Ruffled feathers ahead. What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner."

"Million dollar idea: Nutella, but super healthy."