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Joke of the Day

"As of Nov 9, 2016, what will be the 2nd most populous state in America? Catatonic"

"To me, God will always be that guy that could've made Pokemon or Star Wars real but instead was all like, ""Nah bruh, malaria and AIDS."""

"Why is it called xbox one? Because when you see it, you turn one degree and walk away."

"What kind of money does Mario use? 8-bitcoins"

"A masochist cried to a sadist: ""Please hurt me! For the love of god, hurt me!"" And the sadist said ""no."""

"I messed up planning my New Year's party I guess you could say I dropped the ball."

"the chipotle guy who never charges me extra for guacamole even though there's a big G on the foil. what are we?"

"days 'til xmas Today is December 10th, there is is only 14 shoplifting days til xmas. Now get out there"

"My local barber was busted today for dealing drugs. I'm in shock. I've been a loyal customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber."

"""Can you tie a knot?""... ""I cannot."" ""So you can knot?"" ""No, I cannot knot."" ""Not knot?"" ""Who's there?"" ""Fuck off!"""